In my last post we talked about how Christian women sometimes get in a rut and will get angry with their men when they can’t seem to give them what they need emotionally in that moment. Many people that don’t understand that much about having a relationship with God struggle with the notion that Christians get into ruts because we have God and we are supposed to be happy all the time, and when we do bump into hard times all we have to do is pray and God takes away all the bad stuff in our lives. I hear some of you laughing right now because every Christian out there knows that’s not always the case. Being in a rut is really tough because each day you wake up feels like your living the same day over and over again. Sometimes women want a man to be able to rescue them from mediocrity but in my experience with men (including my husband) sometimes they are tone death to your emotional cries because if you have a good man he’s more dialed in to being a provider, protector and visionary. Don’t think your man doesn’t want to help you when you’re in distress. Every man I know loves to fix things and solve problems.
I assure you if you were physically sinking in quicksand he’d use all his power and strength to pull you out, but when it comes to deciphering your mood and understanding your emotional ebbs and flows, most men do not know how to pull you out of emotional quicksand. These are the times you need to count on God to give you wisdom on how to get out of your quicksand moments. Learn when it’s expedient for you to lean on God instead of your man because God can always handle the extra weight.
The next time you’re in a rut and you’re dissatisfied with everything in your life (your hair, your clothes, your car, your house, your job, your relationship with God, your relationship with your man, your church…I could probably go on and on and some of you would still be saying amen), envision your life without the things you feel are not up to par. Would you be better off without that car, that house or your man? Your life may indeed need a makeover, but there is always someone that would kill for what you have. Try focusing on what’s good about your situation and not what’s bad about it. Keep building on the good things and formulate a plan to change the things that you know you need to change. Sometimes a woman’s emotions run so deep that only God can walk with her in the places that she’s walking. It’s not that your man doesn’t want to walk with you; he can’t always find the trail you’re on.
If you’re in a rut in your life here’s 5 tips to help you get out of your rut:
1. Use visualization
Stop focusing so hard on where you are. Use your imagination to see yourself where you want to be. If you can see yourself with it, that’s the first step to actually putting your hands on it.
2. Use the power of confession
Confess every day that you have the life you envision for yourself. It might seem silly to keep saying you have things you don’t have, but confession is biblical and it’s the way God created the heavens and the earth so we need to follow his example.
3. Put some elbow grease in it
If you’re going to visualize and say confessions to get out of your rut, you also have to be willing to put your money where your mouth is. Do one thing per month that moves you one step closer to getting out of your current situation such as sending out a resume if you want a new job or taking more of an interest in the things your husband is in to if your relationship is stagnate. When you are making strides to get out of your current predicament it becomes easier to tolerate while you’re still in it.
4. Step out of your comfort zone
Many times we get in a rut because we’re afraid to do the things we envision for our lives. We think we’re too young or we think we’re too old or we think we’re too shy or we think we’re not knowledgeable enough. You’ll always be able to find excuses if you look for them and they will keep you in your rut. Even if you have to get your man to give you a push, step out of what you’ve always done and do something different. If you don’t have a man right now to give you a push, pray for God to give you the strength to push yourself.
5. Don’t be denied
We all know women that have talked about always being the bridesmaid but never the bride. It’s time for you to be the bride. Don’t be content just watching somebody else get theirs. Be happy for them, but realize that real happiness comes when you are also getting yours. God wants nothing less for your life. Believe you can have what you want and receive it in your heart as if you’d been handed a package that God personally gave you so you can walk in it.
So if you are a Christian woman that’s in a rut and dissatisfied with her life don’t be discouraged if your man doesn’t always understand what to do when you’re running on empty. Instead allow your test to become your testimony. I hope these tips will help you and until my next post. Stay encouraged.